Collins St, 5pm by John Brack

Collins St, 5pm. John Brack, originally uploaded by glennpeters.

Public Telephone Coversation #9

Holmesglen?
Come home, Glenn.

That's What He Said

That's what he said,
He was always right,
Jasmine smells best,
At night.

Insomnia We Trust

The seventh doze off was peeved by the thought I lost her completely.
Check what's on.
A music clip.
A song she loves.
Does that mean anything or is it just mean?

The Art of Whining

If you really wanted to win lotto, you would be trying a lot harder.

And Then I Shot Him

There's nothing nice about prison except that it makes you stop running.

Hall's Gap

Hall was stuck holding up the Totem Pole. The pole faces were stern kitsch. Not hip kitsch. More hop kotsch, screaming, playful Martin Denny camp and as dangerous as a street juggler's autistic minder.
"You're either with us or against us!" cried the pole faces.
"What? You want me to join you freaks?"
"You must. You're one of us."
Hank Williams' Kawliga and Tennessee Williams' Mitch squeezed to give Hall some room.
Hall, confused, refused.

Let Me Eat Your Badly Packed Kebab

Sweat and fat. Ash tipping while you cut the tomato. I said I wanted garlic sauce. Why do you ask me again? What do you think I am. One of those guys who wants the chicken with no onions, no sauce and could you please cut that in half? I want it normal.
I'm really drunk and a little bit stoned but I'm not your bunny. I gave you a twenty, now I expect change.
Where is everybody?

To Sleep

Take page from notebook.
Write the word, hope on the page.
Fold page to half the size of an apple.
Sleep with page inside your pillow case.

My Weak End

It was a long weekend. Longer without Pretty.
Saturday morning I woke up with a bad back. I said to the bad back, "I can't remember bringing you home last night."
Bad back said, "But you did, Sir. But you did."
I went to the city. Bad Back insisted on coming.
Went to a party. Didn't see Pretty there for the first half hour. Everybody was awkward and wanted to talk about 'football' with me.
They weren't really talking about 'football'. There was a whole new conversation fluttering above.
Weak End ends.

Murder, Melbourne and Me

Caught up with a mate who works with my most previous next door neighbor. Turns out the bloke who moved into my house in Collingwood when I left was the infamous gangster, author and funny-man, Mark Brandon 'Chopper' Read. When I lived there, Chopper only lived in the next street. I would see him regularly at the local milkbar or sitting outside his fave pub, The Leinster Arms.

There is an underworld war going on right now in Melbourne. It is BIG, with more than 25 killings in the past four years. The morning after one of the murders Chopper was interviewed by all Australia's media in the sun outside The Leinster Arms.

I was nearby buying milk. Couldn't help but stare. Who wouldn't? My gob-smacked looking agitated Chopper's burly, hanger-on minders. Even through their prison style Oakleys you could read their thoughts buzzing wisdom. "Who IS this cunt? What's he doing? Is he okay?"

Had to go. Real quick.

"But don't get me wrong, for a one time toe-cutter, knee-capper and killer of 19 men (in my lighter moments), swapping my four ten for a HB2.0 is not without it's price. It could happen someday, that someone asks me for my autograph and while I'm busying myself with the pen, they put a bullet in my head. Not really a desirable outcome for me is it!" From Chopper Read's website.

But that's not my only connection to the Melbourne crime scene....

I have a friend. He killed somebody. It happened when he was doing his work. He didn't mean to kill. An inquest agreed. There was no jail. It was front page news.

It doesn't end there.

The person my friend killed, lived in the house I live now and grew up in. His bedroom was my bedroom.

Casey's Idle Sales Figures

Australian Idol's Casey Donovan's single made it to number one in the charts in its first week. Whoopee! But the real problem is that only a bit over 35,000 copies were sold compared to the 100,000-ish sold last year in the first week by Guy Sebastian.

Here's why.

The song, "Listen With Your Heart" is pure scrotum. Its writer, Diane Warren was responsible for Milli Vanilli's Blame it on the Rain, Cher's If I Could Turn Back Time, Starship's Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now, DeBarge's Rhythm Of The Night, and almost all the lyrical vomit spewed out by Michael Bolton and Celine Dion.
Everything is bad, cynical and dated about Listen To Your Heart. And no, the song wasn't written exclusively for Idol as claimed earlier. It originally recorded by soul nobody, CeCe Winans in 1998. Listen to it if you dare here.
If you were to release a cover version of a bad song, why not You're So Vain? At least that song was made her own. Oh well, contractual obligations win out every time.

While according to ARIA, the CD single as a format is dying in the arse, the song was available for two weeks on the infamous Casey Donovan website.

Song gets played to death on water torture FM radio. Kids like idol. Kids at school. Kids download. Kids burn. Kids get sick of the song real quick. Kids go back to sniffing liquid paper. I did that once. It hurt my head. At least I didn't die.

Word is that Idol runner-up and apprentice jockey Anthony Callea's cover of The Prayer will do much better. Why? Old ladies don't download music. They're too busy looking at sites like this and this. Nurse!