Topics Of Conversation

I have a friend and we talk about football, other sports and our families but mainly we talk about the Collingwood Football Club. I have another and we talk about music and the movies, but there’s not a movie we agree. Another friend and I talk about books, laugh and pun about our bedraggled lives. One friend and I, together we see music’s little things and share our contempt for grown ups. Another friend and I yell and joke like the best jazz you’ve ever heard. One friend and I mostly talk of the past. Sadly, with another friend we’ve spoken too much.

And there's another, I like best to listen.

Fuckwits & Strangers

Sharks swimming in their own spit,
With their mighty come-ons and hairy touch,
They look up and down,
And comment.

Loving the game and pissing on the meek,
Who wouldn't love their attention?

Rick Got Stabbed And Spent The Next Six Months In Hospital. I Met Him Two Years Afterwards On A Pier At Night.

"You write? What books? Magazines? Poetry?"

"Yes."

"Once I wrote a poem and read it to a mate who said he’d heard it before and I must have stolen it from a magazine or something so I threw it out. I must have heard it before and now I don’t remember any bit of it. I’d been on the cones, sitting with me old farm dog, Rhett here, good dog I think he likes you, and was looking into the sky and the trees, listening to the trout splashing in the almost darkness jumping for bugs like they do at that time of night. Be fucked what I wrote in my poem. It’s all lost now.”

"It’s okay because poems are in the wind."

"What?"

"And you grab at them from the wind like a trout would a nymph."

"Fuck. You just said something. I’m not trying to piss in your pocket or anything. But I think you just said something that’s true. Let me shake your hand. Shit. Hold on a second.... Yeah, you’re right. Let me shake your hand."

Brian Eno, The Lyricist

Here's lyrics to a beautiful piece which appears on his 1975 album, Another Green World.

I'll Come Running
Brian Eno

I'll find a place somewhere in the corner,
I'm gonna waste the rest of my days,
Just watching patiently from the window,
Just waiting, seasons change, some day, oh oh,
My dreams will pull you through that garden gate,

I want to be the wandering sailor,
We're silhouettes by the light of the moon,
I sit playing solitaire by the window,
Just waiting, seasons change, ah hah, you'll see,
Some day these dreams will pull you through my door,

And I'll come running to tie your shoe,
I'll come running to tie your shoe.

Wish I wrote that. It's so so right.

His Story Always Repeats

You've
gone
and
done
it
again
haven't
you.

Time
and
time
again
you
never
learn.

You've
only
got
yourself
to
blame.

But no!

My maladies are biscuits.
I like to split them
and lick off the cream.

You're
just
saying
that.

Now
go
to
your
room.

A Burglar's Note

The pen scratches.
A sharp scream, the page turning.
Exact steps sliding.
Long breaths.
Light rationed.
Tinitus always.
Mind on fire.
Anon.

Mucking Around At Flinders Street

Near The Taxi Rank

Pissed slightly on hip flask muck,
He rides the skateboard awkwardly.
His boots thunk the deck and only she,
In the ripped black jumper,
Dark make up and scratched nails,
Swoons when
The board skids
So hot.


Platform 3

New tatts so hip and rocking on her insteps.
They itch and he's seen nothing so fucking cool.


Platform 10

The black converse work every time on her,
And even on him.

Blood & Bone

Fibs open like petals to the morning,
You don't need to show me the bulb.

I'll Meet You At The Tote

Without knowing she held the beer into the bar light.
Long fingers crisp.
I shiver.

Back To The Cheese Platter I Go

Hey kids! Here's a little writing game.

Write yourself a real short story starting with the sentence, “The rest as they say, is history,” and ending with, “My mother sat in the chair where she first saw the snake. My father lit a cigar.“

Here's what I came up with sometime last year....


“The rest as they say, is history.” And with that the screen switched to yet another fricken student film. Seven down and only another 54 to go. This was going to be one of the most tedious nights of my life.

If I need to tell you one thing its got to be this. Listen carefully. You might want to put this one away in your top drawer because you'll be needing this. No really. Stop. Write it down and put in your wallet next to the picture of your cat. This is important stuff.

When a friend asks you to come to their short film launch, do not EVER say yes. Open your excuses drawer and pull out the first thing you see.

“Thursday the 25th? Shit, sorry I've got a Scrabble tournament on that night.”

Anything.

When Mandy asked I was like you. Anything to help a friend and their two and a half minute, Super 8 masterpiece.

How wrong.

Get to the theater foyer and there's a lot of mingling but nobody there I know. At least one of Mandy's friends, me, is there to lend support. My usual partner in these situations saves me again. The cheese and kabana platter. Mandy runs past.

“Hey Mandy. Excited about..” She keeps on going.

A guy in a scarf (they all wear scarves) says it's time to go in.

After a brief 17 minute speech the films start and they are all except for one with a talking turd, rubbish.

Seven Reservoir Dogs copies, 12 bad not good bad but bad, bad splatter films, 14 'art' pieces and 83 quirky skits later it was time for intermission. Back to the cheese platter I go.

This time Mandy walks by, despondent. The film hasn't come back from the printers. It may or may not be shown tonight. Her mobile rings. “That could be him, now.” She runs off. Shit. The platter's run out of pickled octopus.

Scarf guy announces that there's another 37 wonderful pieces of work to go and not to bring wine back into the theater. Now I'm stuffed.

The first film after the break started. Another bloody voice over.... “My mother sat in the chair where she first saw the snake. My father lit a cigar.”

Big Brother: Last Week's Intruder Episode

715 It's raining. Poofs are still complaining about Zoolander for not showing respect etc.

716 Zoolander claims he taught David how to catch so he can play games with the rest. That's right he taught him how to catch.

718 Poofs comparing fragrances. Poofs really like this perfume task. Zoolander likes it more but.

723 Housemates get together to sort out their differences. Zoolander reckons there's people in the house who don't like him. Rob agrees.

725 Twitch says something to help the awkwardness but I didn't hear it because I was distracted by a little twitch.

727 Gretel is wearing a tablecloth.

728 Poofs can't stand Zoolander. Rob is on fire. Rob drops a zinger. "I'm not ready to compete with someone who has a great upper body and a headband."

733 Its time for Rob v Zoolander in private. "Talk to me love. What have I done?" They make up. Rob ends it. "Look at us. We're skipping and holding hands!"

737 Boring scene. When are the intruders coming? After the break says the tablecloth. Little clip of the first intruder. Can't see her face only hear her speak to camera. She reminds me of an older St Kilda barmaid.

742 Live to the house. Waiting on the intruders. Twitch yawns. No twitch!

743 1st intruder video. Perry looks like the aforementioned barmaid. She's rough. Proud mum. Can't stand lies. Boiler. Interview with the tablecloth. Can't stand people who"woind people up." 39 year old. Years haven't been particularly kind to her. Oldest ever housemate. Stopped smoking yesterday. After 24 years. Rough as guts. Says ohmygod a lot.

754 2nd intruder video. Darren. Snarly 19 year old student. His dream would be a job and a wife he adores. Shorter than the tablecloth. Teeth stay together when he speaks. Looks stoned. Did I say snarly? Reckons Claire is pretty attractive and " a bit of a sweetheart." Lots of pent up anger. Adjustment issues. Another rev head. Will be a mate of Ashley straight off. Says, "Gaylan annoys me."

803 Ad for the warm car. Fails to point out it's a warm car. Idiots.

804 Interview with Perry's daughter, Jaihden. Yes, that's exactly how it's spelt. JAIHDEN.

805 Perry enters house. First word. Cheezus! No one's seen her yet. Here goes. John hugs her and looks at her tits. "David you're absolutely gorgeous. Give us a kiss!" "How old am I? Who asked that question? 29 plus GST." Lots of hugging. She takes control of the room.

813 3rd intruder video. Lauren 22 year old blonde make up artist. Bisexual. Tall. "Can't stand skanky girls." Loud sleeptalker. "I don't need to be much better looking. Interview with the tablecloth. "Girls can be a bit funny with me at first. I get along with the boys" Thinks the Twitch is cute. Funny looking nose. She reminds me of Rex Hunt's beautician. Dull girl. Loose as. But dumb.

825 Darren to enter. "Hello! Hi I'm Darren."Dazza. Shakes all hands. David likes his shirt. Camilla is nuts. Too excited.

826 Awesome twitch. Long. Girls are going nutty. Already Dazz is talking to Ashley. They are getting along. Ashley wants football scores. not getting them. David is in love.

830 interview with Lauren's mum. Just found out her daughter is bisexual minutes ago when she announced it to the tv audience. Lauren is entering the house during up late tonight. Zoolander's barely said a word since the intruders entered.

I Saw You Staring Out In Space

Can you be blinded by the moon?
It's only light reflected from the sun.
Can you be blinded by the stars?
They are their own light.

Why look up?
Why be blinded on such a cold cold night?
Seems tragic, magic,
Or only sick,
To think of the night.

Moon please blind me,
Don't blame the sun.

Stars,
Please do more,
Than sit,
And think of the night,

Warm by you.

Dusk At Fawkner Park

Dusk At Fawkner Park, originally uploaded by glennpeters.

Enough said.

Unhappy Anniversary

How predictable am I to reprint this today?

Unhappy Anniversary
by Loudon Wainwright

Unhappy Anniversary
It's one year since we split
I walk and talk and get around
Lie down, stand up, and sit
I eat and drink and smoke and sing and
Live a little bit
Unhappy Anniversary
It's one year since we split

Unhappy Anniversary
It's ten years since we met
There is no need to remind me
No way I could forget
We fell in love, and then fell out
Both times there was no net
Unhappy Anniversary
It's ten years since we met

Unhappy Anniversary
I cannot count the days
And nights that I have thought of you
Since we went separate ways I tell my mind to forget you
But my heart disobeys
Unhappy Anniversary
I cannot count the days

Appears on Loudon's More Love Songs and Career Moves albums.

Killing Time 'Til The Next Day

Pretty good name for a song innit?

Feeling Terrible

"I didn't want to distract myself. I knew I had to sit and just feel terrible and just feel terrible and just feel terrible. And I knew I had to do that. And I think it's been valuable to just sit and feel terrible."

Merridy O'Donnell tells Four Corners what she did to deal with her 17 year old son, Campbell's suicide.

The Funniest Girl I Know

She's funnier than any bunch of mates I've been to the footy with.
All of them put together.
Go Pies.

Grey

Americans spell grey with an A to make it look less so.

Sometimes I Stare In Space

Heatwave was written by Motown's superhit songwriting team of Brian Holland, Lamont Dozier and Edward Holland Jr. It was originally recorded by The Supremes but was a huge hit for Martha & The Vandellas. I much prefer The Supremes' version.

No matter how many times I listen to it, this song stirs me incredibly, especially the, "Sometimes I stare in space, tears all over my face," bit.

Yes, this song is perfect. Almost better than The Beach Boys' God Only Knows.

Heatwave

Whenever I’m with him
Something inside
starts to burnin’
And I’m filled with desire
Could it be a devil in me
Or is this the way love’s supposed to be?

It’s like a heat wave
Burnin’ in my heart
I can’t keep from cryin’
It’s tearin’ me apart

Whenever he calls my name
Soft, low, sweet and plain
I feel, right there I feel that burnin’ flame
Has high blood pressure got a hold on me
Or is this the way love’s supposed to be?

It’s like a heat wave
Burnin’ in my heart
I can’t keep from cryin’
It’s tearin’ me apart

Sometimes I stare in space
Tears all over my face
I can’t explain it
Don’t understand it
I ain’t never felt like this before
Now this funny feelin’ has me amazed
I don’t know what to do
My head’s in a haze

It’s like a heat wave
I feel it Burnin’,
right here in my heart
It’s like a heat wave

Cold Enough For Ya?

"But most of what Iceland’s got is bundles of weather. This isn’t anything as benignly balmy as a climate: this is weather that is like living with a giant psychopathic bouncer, weather of heroic, mythic proportions. The air around you is a sensate physical presence on a mission. For nine months of the year, outside the clattering windows stalks a man-killer that wants your guts for Popsicles. Welcome to Iceland, twinned with Valhalla."

From Dripping Yarns by AA Gill.

Stuck In The End Of You

It's a little ditty I recorded a couple of months ago. The lead acoustic guitar break, vocal performance and bedroom studio recording are all astounding.

Listen to it here.

Hot Enough For Ya?

"Turkey buzzards drifted in a milky sky. The metallic din of crickets made the heat seem worse. Banana leaves hung in limp ribbons. There was no wind."

Bruce Chatwin from his novella, The Viceroy of Ouidah.

Dilemmas

Dilemmas are insects.
I'd spray them but
I kinda like the buzz.

The 2006 Biennial Bugger All Going On Here This Week Festival of Melbourne

Mission Statement
To provide bugger all infrastructure, amenities of social and educational relevance to clients from Melbourne's inner and outer communities.

Curated by Paul Grabowsky, Rachel Griffiths and Franco Cozzo, it's a celebration of our city with DJ's, street theatre, buskers™, coffee, street art, cold architecture, underrepresented world music, dagwood dogs, fully ticketed football, dirty needles, P Plates, star fruit, fresh bread, slow caravans, knackwurst, high fringed dark haired ACMI goers, toenails, bullets, nice shoes, local bands, public toilets, sandblasted graffiti, beggars who need a couple of bucks to see their niece in Frankston, remote controls, Phil Cleary, security staff, baklava, camera crews, brochures, IKEA, outreach, digital cameras, scarves of all types, cookbooks, sub woofers in the boots of Toyotas, heroin, sachel bags, health workers, stencil art, strong coffee, ragged tiles, ragu, pools hanging over back lanes, yesterday's washing, SMS massaging, landslides, bicycles, gargoyles, The Johns (Thwaites and So), Port Melbourne supporters, the BLF, jus, spanakopita, feral cats, poker machines, torn gig posters and so many more events which will make this festival the biggest and best in the earth's history.

Memoirs Of An Admin Guru

Somewhere there's a place for us. Somewhere there's a place for us.
She wanted so much to get that job in the office. ADMINISTRATIVE GURU read the advertisement. The perfect job.

I wish to apply for the administrative guru position as advertised in The Age on Saturday June 12.
It was no longer enough to be merely an administrative wiz or an administrative expert. She had to upsize her talents. The young lady had to become the ADMINISTRATIVE GURU!
It was going to be tough to work up to the prerequisite 80 words a minute. She would practice at night. Every night by typing along with her favorite records.

Charlie I'm pregnant. Living on Ninth Street. Above a dirty bookstore.
The first record she took dictation from was Blue Valentine by Tom Waits, the record which reminded her of Christmas, and the scraggly boy she met on her 17th birthday.
She breezed through the first two songs but Christmas Card From Hooker in Minneapolis smacked her chair squared, arse. No problem with the speed but she couldn't spell Minneapolis.. This caused her to stumble and miss the first couple of lines. Charlie I'm pregnant was easy, she knew that that well but from then on it would be difficult.
She would never be a administrative guru.
No.
The highly organized applicant began to listen to the words.

Charlie I'm broke.
This song is a real story. I can't remember this one. Sidetracked, these thoughts are certainly not work related. Stick with the process girl. This is the mistake of the expert or even the wiz but the Administrative Guru would never fall for an easy ploy like a soppy ballad with a punchline.
The wizard was becoming the guru.

$29 (and an alligator purse) was easy. She could decipher Waits' grumblings because she was a true professional. She was a new member of Tom's band.
And ladies and gentlemen, on the keys.... The guru!
Play it again Guru! Yeah, how 'bout that band!

Wooshin' down with snooze powder, waiting for a ditch.
Hard lyrics to take down but it's The Guru we're talkin' about. She's amazing. Hire her. She can do no wrong!
Then came the saddest song in the world, Kentucky Avenue.

Eddie Grace's buick with four bullets in the sky….
Oh no.

Canadian Italian George, The Local Tells Me She's Never Seen His Eyes

See that chick over there? She's one of the hottest chicks in Port Melbourne, the bitch.

I was talking to another chick who I had already been with, you know I was finished with her, and that bitch over there with the dog comes right up to me and kisses me on the cheek. Next time I see her I'm here with my Dad, fishing and she pretends not to know me.

I know her yeah, I know her. I remember all of them by their dogs. I know their dogs better than they do.

Now the dirty bitch is walking over there with a guy. Should I go over to her? Maybe she won't recognise me because I don't have my sunglasses on.

She's never seen my eyes.

Yeah, I'm going over there. The schmuck she's with won't have a clue what's going on. I'll come back and tell you what happens. I'll wave if there's a chance of getting her number. Dirty bitch, I bet she wants it.

Without Doubt

Without doubt,
A headache won't
Celebrate its leaving.
Neither does a heartache
Celebrate the evening.

Another Quote By Charles Mingus

"I am Charles Mingus. half black man, yellow man - half yellow- not even yellow, nor white enough to pass for nothing but black and not too light enough to be called white. I claim that I am a Negro. I am Charles Mingus- to me I am nothing. I am Charles Mingus, a famed jazz musician but not famed enough to make a living in society, that is in America, my home. I cannot even support my family, honestly that is from the fame that I gain to the right of being a Negro musician.

I am a human being born in Indian territory conquered by white skins or invisible skins, transparent skins, people who killed and robbed to inherit the earth for themselves and their children.

Charles Mingus is a musician, a mongrel musician, who plays beautiful, who plays ugly, who plays lovely, who plays masculine, who plays feminine, who plays music, who plays all sounds, loud, soft, unheard sounds, sounds, sounds, sounds."

Again from his autobiography, Beneath The Underdog.

A Quote By Charles Mingus

"I never realised there were so many places to go and yet so few places to stop and relax."

Charles Mingus from his 1971 autobiography, Beneath The Underdog.

Between

Shut blue eyes,
The noise between,
Peace and silence.

That Perfume

I know it.
I know that perfume.
I think you get it at The Body Shop.
Sometimes it walks by me,
On a city street.

It reminds me of loud fucking,

With windows open to the moonlight.

In Space No One Can Hear You Cry

The birds sang because they were leaving in the morning.
The lights went orange before they died.
And the wind blew into the stars.

And the wind blew into the stars.